Everyone, I am now starting to journal on a different website.
The link is lifeteen.com/missions
This is on the official Lifeteen website. And it will be with the rest of the missionaries. Unfortuantely there is not a button from the homepage so you actually have to link into it from here or write it in your browser. But they are still working on it and will be getting it up and running. Just click on my name to get all of my posts.
Cya There
PEACE
PD
Friday, October 23, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Boston
Just want to let everyone know that I'll be in Boston for the next week. I am so pumped up about it because this will be a great way to show the love that God has given to us to outsiders! We are almost giddy!
Also, when I get back from Boston, the Blog will be up on the Lifeteen website which will be much easier to access. I give everyone a link to the new one when I get back.
Pray for me!!!!! And I am praying for so many of you as well (i can't believe how many of you are willing to share your life with me!)
God Bless
PD
Also, when I get back from Boston, the Blog will be up on the Lifeteen website which will be much easier to access. I give everyone a link to the new one when I get back.
Pray for me!!!!! And I am praying for so many of you as well (i can't believe how many of you are willing to share your life with me!)
God Bless
PD
Monday, October 12, 2009
HA
HAHA, just realized that i should make up titles AFTER writing rather than before. I labeled the last post Sent out but never explained it! All three teams are leaving this week Thurs-Fri....EXCITING!!!!!
PD
PD
Sent Out
Today is Monday and we have a little downtime. In our formation we began a hardcore class on Bible and scripture this morning. Its taught by a 'drill sergeant' named Brother John. He is amazing but intense which I love...though, not sure how long I will last, lol. He has been touching on a lot of things that I have been really praying hard about and seeking truth for.
There are a lot of things that I struggle with in my faith. I do not feel Jesus on a regular basis during Mass, adoration or prayer. The times when I may have felt him, I am very skeptical about and tend to chalk it up to emotional manipulation by myself or others. I have seen worship leaders manipulate emotions as they lead a non-existent christian life. I've seen a crowd pressure someone to act a certain way to feel part of the group. I've seen teens desire that awesome feeling that sometimes comes with being in close contact of Christ. But they desire it so much that they lose the whole point and begin to worship the feeling itself, not God. I am almost positive that anybody who is reading this has had some similar experiences so I am aware that its not new.
Also, I don't mean to say that it never happens, that everyone is fake, or even that worship leaders aren't supposed to lead a crowd into deeper prayer...I may not get answers from my own prayer but that does not discount other's prayer time. However, because I do not hear the Lord through my own discernment, it is hard to find answers to questions and doubts that I seek during that time. Thus, I turn outside of prayer in search of Truth (capital T for a reason). I don't stop praying but there are things that hold me back.
Brother John made us do an exercise this morning that I had actually completed just a couple weeks earlier in a study guide to a book. He wanted us to write a mission statement that sums up our entire life. Just one sentence is pretty hard to sum me up, but I was able to condense it down to a single line.
I never want to stop seeking Truth while not conforming to the patterns of this world.
It is a scary mission statement because Truth can very easily be switched out with truth(intelligence, facts, etc...). It makes me realize how fast I can fall off the path. How important that, even though I don't feel anything, I continue to spend time in prayer looking forward to a time in which I am not held back and am completely filled up (could or could not happen in this life time). Because without it, I will easily get lost sifting through the knowledge, the history, and the philosophy behind the Truth. I can lose myself in my doubts and the bitterness that resides in my heart will never be healed.
I am not sure what this blog was supposed to accomplish...just a little insight into my life. And i am going to publish this before I go back and change it to sound pretty and politically correct.
I struggle.
PD
There are a lot of things that I struggle with in my faith. I do not feel Jesus on a regular basis during Mass, adoration or prayer. The times when I may have felt him, I am very skeptical about and tend to chalk it up to emotional manipulation by myself or others. I have seen worship leaders manipulate emotions as they lead a non-existent christian life. I've seen a crowd pressure someone to act a certain way to feel part of the group. I've seen teens desire that awesome feeling that sometimes comes with being in close contact of Christ. But they desire it so much that they lose the whole point and begin to worship the feeling itself, not God. I am almost positive that anybody who is reading this has had some similar experiences so I am aware that its not new.
Also, I don't mean to say that it never happens, that everyone is fake, or even that worship leaders aren't supposed to lead a crowd into deeper prayer...I may not get answers from my own prayer but that does not discount other's prayer time. However, because I do not hear the Lord through my own discernment, it is hard to find answers to questions and doubts that I seek during that time. Thus, I turn outside of prayer in search of Truth (capital T for a reason). I don't stop praying but there are things that hold me back.
Brother John made us do an exercise this morning that I had actually completed just a couple weeks earlier in a study guide to a book. He wanted us to write a mission statement that sums up our entire life. Just one sentence is pretty hard to sum me up, but I was able to condense it down to a single line.
I never want to stop seeking Truth while not conforming to the patterns of this world.
It is a scary mission statement because Truth can very easily be switched out with truth(intelligence, facts, etc...). It makes me realize how fast I can fall off the path. How important that, even though I don't feel anything, I continue to spend time in prayer looking forward to a time in which I am not held back and am completely filled up (could or could not happen in this life time). Because without it, I will easily get lost sifting through the knowledge, the history, and the philosophy behind the Truth. I can lose myself in my doubts and the bitterness that resides in my heart will never be healed.
I am not sure what this blog was supposed to accomplish...just a little insight into my life. And i am going to publish this before I go back and change it to sound pretty and politically correct.
I struggle.
PD
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Three weeks in
Hey!!!!!!
So here is the first of the blogs. I am new at this so this is really weird for me. I am not used to journaling for a load of people to read...not that anyone will actually come to this site....but in case you are, thanks. I will be pretty honest in these, I hope, so some of this stuff won't be all happy happy joy joy.
I have been here about three weeks but it feels like a year. Which I suppose is good and bad. Good because the people here are all ready family, bad because they are all ready my family, lol (grrr, haylee. I shake my fist at you! (she is throwing grapes at me while I write this)).
It has been a great three weeks in general. There have been a lot of ups and downs, but God is really starting to stretch me (to the point that it's starting to hurt). Everyday my eyes open up more and more to what he is offering me in my life. Most of the time I am unsure if I am actually ready for it. It feels like I am scrambling toward Jesus but he keeps walking just out of reach so that I have to keep reaching. I am doing all right keeping up so far but I feel that if I make one wrong move I am going to be drowining in fears, doubt, and confusion....this sounds morbid...
...here is a victory story! I just completed the first eighth grade retreat on Friday. On that last day all of the missionaries were supposed to pray over their small group members one at a time. I decided that I would make it a group effort so we put each student in the middle of the circle and all of us(myself and the rest of the eighth graders) prayed over the person in the middle. It was awesome just having them do it themselves, but it wasnt even the best part! At the end, without anyone telling him, a kid named, Chris, pointed to me and told me it was my turn!!! Now these are eighth graders!!! how crazy is it that these eighth graders are willing to pray over a 23 year-old all by themselves. There were no other adults in the group at the time so I was really astounded!
I felt completely honored and humbled to know that even those who people expect not capable of getting their faith can really get serious and pray over someone who is almost twice their age. I was a youth minister last year and never really paid to much atention to the middle schoolers. Hanging out with them for a week as definitely rearranged some of my assumptions.
Anyways, I'll try to make these short and sweet. Here is just one more thing that I have been pondering lately: the importance of Mary in the life of Jesus.
Peace out
PD
So here is the first of the blogs. I am new at this so this is really weird for me. I am not used to journaling for a load of people to read...not that anyone will actually come to this site....but in case you are, thanks. I will be pretty honest in these, I hope, so some of this stuff won't be all happy happy joy joy.
I have been here about three weeks but it feels like a year. Which I suppose is good and bad. Good because the people here are all ready family, bad because they are all ready my family, lol (grrr, haylee. I shake my fist at you! (she is throwing grapes at me while I write this)).
It has been a great three weeks in general. There have been a lot of ups and downs, but God is really starting to stretch me (to the point that it's starting to hurt). Everyday my eyes open up more and more to what he is offering me in my life. Most of the time I am unsure if I am actually ready for it. It feels like I am scrambling toward Jesus but he keeps walking just out of reach so that I have to keep reaching. I am doing all right keeping up so far but I feel that if I make one wrong move I am going to be drowining in fears, doubt, and confusion....this sounds morbid...
...here is a victory story! I just completed the first eighth grade retreat on Friday. On that last day all of the missionaries were supposed to pray over their small group members one at a time. I decided that I would make it a group effort so we put each student in the middle of the circle and all of us(myself and the rest of the eighth graders) prayed over the person in the middle. It was awesome just having them do it themselves, but it wasnt even the best part! At the end, without anyone telling him, a kid named, Chris, pointed to me and told me it was my turn!!! Now these are eighth graders!!! how crazy is it that these eighth graders are willing to pray over a 23 year-old all by themselves. There were no other adults in the group at the time so I was really astounded!
I felt completely honored and humbled to know that even those who people expect not capable of getting their faith can really get serious and pray over someone who is almost twice their age. I was a youth minister last year and never really paid to much atention to the middle schoolers. Hanging out with them for a week as definitely rearranged some of my assumptions.
Anyways, I'll try to make these short and sweet. Here is just one more thing that I have been pondering lately: the importance of Mary in the life of Jesus.
Peace out
PD
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